She does not seem perturbed about her broken heart and I wonder...where does she get the strength?
She tossed and turned in bed for long hours, until finally, she came to a decision. With conviction, she started to type on her iPhone...advising him that she no longer wishes to stay in a relationship where she felt to be of no importance. (Sadly, her place in his heart has been downgraded; reduced to being a mere alarm clock that reminds him of her existence: “Time to wake up, mahal ko!...have you eaten your breakfast? …drop everything and eat lunch now!”) With no bitterness in her heart, she reminded herself that it was the right thing to do. "There's no turning back!", she thought to herself. Hence, she sent him the messages in a swift graceful manner and composed demeanor...at past 12 AM!
While driving on her way to work the following day, her heart felt a thump as she heard the usual sound from her cellphone. How she wished it had the same joyful buzz but she knew better. Those overwhelmingly happy moments when she was being accompanied by his high spirited voice while she drives (through viber, facetime, name it..), whether it was a short or far distance, on skyway, ordinary roads and/or hi-way; those days and nights that made her feel so loved and protected were over! Her right hand trembled as it searched for her phone while her left knuckles were white as she gripped the steering wheel..."Focus on the road!", she scolded herself.
As expected, it was the dreaded reply from him. He has accepted her decision with resignation... “I’m not surprised at all if you had made that decision. I won’t make any excuses but you know what my situation is right now. I truly appreciate you…The time spent with you was precious and will always be in my heart forever...” Ugh! It was like a dagger stabbing my own heart; even I had difficulty reading! I can imagine the topsy-turvy emotions one has to cope given that same situation.
Simply, the two lovers have drifted apart…
BUT wasn't it months ago when she seemed to be the center of his universe? Her voice alone was enough to make his spirit soar while her presence gave him a feeling of contentment and euphoria. Not to mention that once upon a time, they made a promise to each other that they would spend the rest of their lives together...and yes, they have asked God for 25 long years…for better or for worse (I should be dreaming here...the last phrase is a borrowed line from a marriage vow). With blessings from their respective “happy” families, they have ventured the seas of a relationship thought to last a lifetime but sadly not.
Why then…suddenly? What happened to that foundation built on love, mutual respect and trust? Or, could it be a relationship founded so fleetingly on false hopes to cater to temporal and emotional desires? I could only make a sad, wild guess, it is the latter.
Sobs! Why am I so affected? I guess, being a woman who has had her own share of ups and downs in terms of past relationships…I know what another human being has to endure in moments like this.
Please allow me…I wish to grieve with her for the loss...but was it really her loss (or his)? Or was it a simple case of a pinched heart? Nonetheless, it's a love story with unhappy ending worth tear-soaked tissue papers... OK girl, here's my shoulder...go on and cry your heart out...
But more than anything, I wish to celebrate and congratulate her for her courage. Bruised alright, yet she has proven herself to be with placid disposition. She has managed to leap, unafraid to fall, from the loveswept hysteria to the painful reality and realization. Deserving of her liberation, she has succeeded to free herself from it all…to steer clear of further emotional havoc that has started to debilitate her emotional and physical being.
I admire her grace in handling her pain in silence; I laud her and applaud!
Sniff…sniff! Goodness! As I sobbed along, I realized I’m on my last layer of tissue sheets…I shall return with a fresh box…silly me!